Sometimes it's hard...

Sometimes it's hard to get along with someone when all you can do is dwell on their mistakes.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart whenever your head is full of other people's crap.

Sometimes it's hard to say what's really on your mind when you know who's going to be judging you, and what they'll be thinking.

But it's always easy to find peace if you just let it go and breathe.

When my brain fails me, I blog...

Argh. Life is rather stressful at the minute. Too much to do, too little time. Plus I think there's something up with my left shoulder - it keeps giving me weird pains D: but if I complain about it with the current state of my mum's back.... Trust me, it's not worth the hassle.

I'm honestly considering forgoing uni and becoming a bum instead. The application process is just too damn confusing. That's along with the sheer impossibilty of finding enough good things to write in a personal statement!
Ihavenopersonalqualitesofnote. I've honestly been grovelling about msn all night trying to find out what people really think of me (lol).

On a happier note, I've been getting out more recently but this actually adds to the general busyness of life these days. I went to Glasgow to see Tommy Reilly last weekend and he was amazing! But the support was equally as good, if not better - Pearl and the Puppets, here they are if you havent heard of them (her? idk):



The next day we went straight from Glasgow to the Edinburgh Uni open day (I reallyreallyreally want to go there...) which left me just Sunday to do LOTS of homework. This did NOT go down well with the parent figures, but ah well, what can they expect? I could be sitting at home spending all my time on the...wait, never mind :P

I've somehow become an unofficial agony aunt to the long-haired young lads from my school as well, which is a bit weird. I'm not sure how it happened but now I get to hear all their problems. I suppose it's nice that I seem like the kind of person you can talk to about stuff, but I am honestly the worst for advice. I mean the WORST. Awkward situations ho...

More stuff to do this coming week as well...
-tomorrow, birthday dinner for my friend then party at resident bunny-boiler's house (should be interesting)
-saturday, Tommy Reilly (again! I know...) is in Stirling so I'll be seeing him :D
-monday, dance workshop with the too faced dance company (drool...)
-wednesday, work after school
-friday, too faced are doing a show which I am absolutely going to see

But for now, I have a personal statement to write....

Exhaustion...

So I've been very tired this past week or so, and I still can't figure out quite why. I think I've been doing too much, but my mum would probably disagree xD

Before I say anything else, I went to see the RSNO today and they were amazing, so much that I'm going to show you. Here.


Ok, moving on. Last week I started rehearsals for the local schools concert, which is basically a big mash-up orchestra/choir from all the schools nearby. I'm in the choir, of course...I haven't played an orchestral instrument since I parted ways with my somewhat unpleasant violin teacher (she threw a book at me and made me cry. Not on the same day). So that involves some intensely long, boring hours after school, but it's pretty amazing the way we can just be handed music, have the tune played once, and everybody's harmonizing perfectly straight away. This is why I don't like my own school's choir: it's full of tone-deaf 13 year olds. Although a senior girl's choir just started which is bound to be way better.

Enough about choirs though. I also started a new job last week, working for an organisation called Kumon. Basically, they give extra help to kids after school for English and Maths, and I get paid £5 an hour to sit and mark the work they hand in. Pretty nice, except when there's a million kids and they all hand their work to me, resulting in a line of impatient children huffing in front of me while I frantically toss answer books around. Even the well-organised boss said it was a 'baptism of fire', which I kind of understand...

Also, just wondering, who's bright idea was it to give Postman Pat a helicopter? A helicopter? Really??

It's been a while...

Hey there, crazy kids!


...So, um, 3 months? 4? Good thing I don't get paid for this!!

Well, so much has been going on! Really, honestly! So because of that, I'm afraid this post will be in list format (argh! I know, I hate lists too!)

- I sat my Highers and (pretty much) passed them all! Results included an A in French, c'etait fantastique! I did fail History, but that could be changed in the next few weeks.
- I didn't tell him anything...In the end it really wasn't worth the hassle!
- Visited Rome with my church youth group at the start of the summer...new favourite city!!! Have a pic...
- Spent another 3 weeks in Italy with the family, good times were had! And mine and Niamh's Torta Della Nonna kicked arse!
- Went to see U2 at Hampden. That was a bloody brilliant show!
- Got twitter
- Turned 17!! This, I think, is the biggest news and still needs some celebrating. Care to join me?


I still haven't started driving lessons yet, mainly for the reason that I don't have a provisional licensce yet. I really need to get me one of those...

Also, in the next few months I'm going to see Tommy Reilly and Florence and the Machine. Considering adding Regina Spektor to this...thoughts?

Happy Days

This is my wee brother playing basketball. Isn't he cute? Shame he can beat me or else he might be my favourite!

I kid, of course.

But really, today turned out pretty good. Considering that when I woke up I didn't have the will power to actually get out of bed, and not just because I love my bed. But after I read my history textbook for a bit and ate some rice krispies, things started to look up. I still got beat at basketball by a midget six-year-old, though.

Also, my head is in a muddle. And of course, taking centre stage is him. Do I like him? Should I tell him? Is it worth it when he's possibly/probably seeing someone else who is ten times more attractive and sluttier than me? It sucks.

Then there's exams. I need a whole other brain to deal with exams right now. Every time I sit one, I feel as though it should be the last, but oh wait, here's more to ruin my fun. Surely that's just wrong when I only have five subjects. I've done four so far and I feel like there is no chance I've passed any of them, so, no uni for me! My dreams of a law degree will never be realised...

I don't really think I have anything else to say, if I think of anything I'll let you know.

P.S. Random fun fact I just found out today at the age of 16 years and 9 months, when I was born my right ear was fused to my head and it only came away because my mum gradually pried it off during feeding sessions. Craaazy.

A sad day

Today, it was the sixth years's last day at my school ever.

Now, you may be thinking 'But Megan, you're only fifth year. You have another year left! Why are you sad?'

Well, I'll tell you. The entire time I've lived in this town (about 10 years now), they've always been "The Year Above", even when we were primary 7 and they were first years at high school. Now they're just...gone.

It feels a bit weird.

And I feel old...

Also, remember him? Yeah, while I was in France I realised that actually I still like him a lot. But of course, he's in sixth year so aside from the school show in a few weeks (and the one exam we'll both be doing) I'm never going to see him again. This is not a good thing at all. BUT I'm going to take a leap and tell him on the night of the last show, that way if I get knocked back on my arse I don't have to face the humiliation of seeing him all the time - a cunning plan I think.

I'm really freaking out about my exams now, and every time I try to revise I can't concentrate because I have some song or other stuck in my head - right now it's Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap (you should get it, it's really good)

I just want to curl up in a ball until they're all over...

In other news, here's a picture of me at the wedding, just hanging out with my darling brother...don't we look great? (Sometimes I love myself too much xD ) Sorry it's sideways, I'm not sure how to change that:

Just wow.

Home...

Unfortunately. I couldn't stay forever, I know, but a few more days would have been nice...

Anyway, things to say! The wedding was fantastic. Or at least, the bits I remember were. The other bits, if my family is to be belived, not so much. I blame the demon drink. It causes nothing but trouble for me, as I should have learned from that party a wee while ago. I've also learned now that in the presence of cousins, my big brother is utter pish. To be brief, after a long day's alcohol consumption we pretty much got dragged onto the minibuses back to our beds, and woke up in the morning with messy clothes and few memories.

Bear in mind this was at a FAMILY WEDDING. Meaning my GRANDPARENTS were there. Meaning I am SO out of favour in the family right now. But then so are pretty much all of the cousins apart from Senan, because he doesn't drink (only because he'll get £500 if he doesn't drink til he's 18 - he's gambling!)

Anyway, I have school in the morning - how depressing - so, night night!
xx

I'm in France!

And I love it! My auntie gets married this week, so as a bridesmaid I obviously have to be here as long as possible! hahaha :)

Sadly, I do still have to do revision since les examens are only a few weeks away, however it doesn't stop me from totally enjoying myself. A big pile of cousins and brothers and aunts and uncles and parents arrive today, so it will be less peaceful but more fun! I fully intend to come here next summer to do a season, and maybe be like my auntie and never come back....wonder what my mum would say to that? ;)

It is actually a bit gutting that today is the first decent day in terms of weather, I was hoping to have a headstart on the tan thing, because I am a GHOST! Sadly, it has been pishing rain the last 3 days, so I still look like a dark haired albino (I know they don't exist, but still) and no doubt my brother will be almost black the minute he steps off the plane - he works like that :/

Well, I have homework/tanning to do, and a boulangerie to visit, and you have whatever you have to do, so, laters!

meg x

Goin' Back To Mah Roots...

For many years, I have fought with the 'curse' of mental frizzy hair. It's been a vicious battle, with no winners, but a few casualties along the way.

It started when I was about 6, when I realised that other girls my age actually brushed their hair and I decided I probably should, too. Not that I was unkempt or anything, it was just that my mum liked my curls, so the hair was not brushed until I decided to change that. From then on, my hair has been a major stress inducer in my life as I constantly tried new tools and products to force it into a smooth, shiny nice thing. In fact, I am ashamed to say that occaisonally I have actually been late to important things/not left the house/cried because of the state of my hair.

But not any more.

I have realised something important today, and that is that no one cares but me. So why do I bother? From now on, I have given in to the frizzy curly mop of my hair. I do not fight it. I embrace it. Hello, frizz, welcome to my head. Do enjoy your stay. I hope we can learn to get along :) .

No, there was no real point to this post. And now I seem incredibly vain. Great.

Superawesomelulz

Really.

Honestly.

This story is hilarious.

I promise you will laugh.


Ok, so last night I was on Omegle chatting to random people from all over the world, when some guy from California comes along. I figure out quite quickly that he knows absolutely nothing about Scotland, so, I decide to have a little bit of fun with him. So I told him that we Scots hunt haggis (they have one leg shorter than the other, so you chase them backwards round a hill to trip them up..)

After he believes that, I decide to see how far I could take it. The next thing I tell him was that marriage is arranged through cow trading and that the 'older bride' is 15 while the youngest is 9. And that I am 15 and about to get married to a guy called Hamish, to whom I have been promised since birth.

Oh, and me and Hamish are going to have nine or ten kids who will be raised 'by the clan'.

And did you know the life expectancy in Scotland is 42 due to TB in the springs? And no-one here has seen a person over 50 so we think they turn grey all over.

And it costs a million Scottish yen to fly on a plane. So, sadly, I will never see a Californian care home and know what old people actually look like (he actually suggested that one..)

Can you believe he actually fell for that? I mean, aside from anything else, if I lived in a country that backwards, why would I be sitting on a computer chatting to him???

My only regret is that my internet crashed before I could save this. Cos it could have provided me with laughs for a loooong time.

GO TEAM!!

So I mentioned before about how my dance team was part of the big competition between schools in my area, yes? Well, the competition was last night, and my team came second!!! Yes, I know it's not quite first, but that went to another team from my school who had an absolutely amazing dance and some people I quite like in it so it's irrelevant. Anyway, I thought I'd share some photos from the night:

TEAM!!!!

Oh, it was fun. I also finally got my christmas present from my friend Laurie (in April!! Shocking, I know) which involved a 'mystery package' from cybercandy.com so needless to say everyone was on a sugar high, mostly from the chocolate flavoured skittles (odd, but surprisingly nice....). The only not good part was that we only got to do the dance once - only the winners get to do it twice - because it was SO MUCH FUN!!! Also, I absolutely loved our costumes, and our hair and makeup (modelled so sexily by myself in the third pic) and if i wasn't so inhibited and could afford face paints all the time I would do that kind of stuff every day (lol..)

Today was quite rubbish though. The absolute worst parts were at the end of school where I had to carry my stuff from every subject from my locker into town because I was working. Now this is roughly the equivalent weight of two small children. So basically I had an extremely uncomfortable 15 minute bus ride then had to heave the stuff through the town centre, with the extreme weight of my bag causing my skirt to ride up at the same time as my leggings were falling down. Not a good look. Then there was work itself, which just all-out sucked, so no change there. This new girl just started and I swear to god she wants to beat me up or something. I'm not quite sure why, but she scares me anyway. Then, when I got home I decided I would play with my little brothers in the garden since it was a beautiful sunny day. Except nothing ever goes nicely, and Robb got sent inside for punching Max. So I kept playing with Max, and when Robb was finally allowed back out he decided that I liked Max more than him and he hated me. Fun times. Meanwhile, my dad took my phone off me as an incentive to clean my very messy room. So once the room was cleaned I went to get it back, and guess what? Massive big crack on the screen. Which wasn't there when I gave him it. Which means he somehow cracked the touch-screen of my iPhone. Which he obviously denies. And I don't know if I can get it fixed....sad sad :(

Now that I have a minute...

Well it's been a busy few weeks since my last post, so here's a wee summary of how I've spent my time:

-spent a week getting increasingly agitated with the general crap I put up with in the form of school...seriously, it's getting beyond a joke. This came to a head when I nearly had a nervous breakdown in the lunch queue after a silly wee boy (probably first year...we all know how much I hate first years!) lifted up my bag by the wrong end and deliberately turned it upside down so everything fell out everywhere. This was possible because my school has this stupid rule where you have to leave your bag outside the place where you buy lunch because small neddy people kept stealing crisps :S

-went to a party on Saturday night with the intention of getting completely wasted (as you do when you're overstressed). I vaguely knew the guy from school and had no idea what the party was for, but it was good. Up until the point where I was pretty much kicked out as a result of trying to sober up a couple of girls in my year who were honestly about to pass out or reintroduce dinner or something. To make it short, they spilled the water I gave them, caused a massive scene, fell over, threw up and ended up being locked out of the guy's garden and having to get a taxi home from my house at 1 am (my parents and little brothers were asleep upstairs while the three girls failed at sneaking into my living room then threw up and fell over some more. Not impressive.)

-got completely swamped with homework for the past five (six?) days. I honestly don't think there's a single night I've been downstairs before 10. Of course, the internet access on my phone may have something to do with that....

-wrote my extended essay for History. I won't know how I did til I get my results in August but I swear, if I ever hear the words Suffragette, Votes for Women or Emmeline Pankhurst again I may have to kill myself...

- witnessed one of the best things ever done for Comic Relief in the form of a 'Man Pageant' at school...Mr WHS. Feckin hilarious. Basically, a load of 6th year guys went up and made an arse of themselves with interviews, dancing, and some swimming trunks. Fun Times.

-went to see The Young Victoria tonight with the girlies...It has to be said - Rupert Friend? I would. Even though he has one of the most ridiculous names, I still totally would. Kiera Knightley is far too lucky. As for the film itself, it was...ok. Bit of an anticlimax at the end, if I'm honest. the whole romance between Victoria and Albert is, OhMyGod :P but that's pretty much all there is to it. They get married, have a big fight, realise they love each other muchly and have nine kids. And you don't even get to see all nine, just the first, then it tells you in text about the rest. Although I suppose it would get a bit boring just seeing nine babies one after the other...

And so that is it, the highlights of my life in the past wee god knows how long. I commend you if you actually read all of this because it's pretty damn boring. I'd better go get some sleep, I have some Irish cousins coming to stay tomorrow (not the one I was visiting - there's a few :P) so I need to enjoy my bed while there's no small children in it. God that sounds creepy....

Oh, and watch this. Then go and download it!

xox

T In The Park? No Can Do :(

OMG TWO POST IN TWO DAYS hahaha.

I just have to get something off my chest that's been bugging me all week...

I CAN'T GO TO T IN THE PARK THIS YEAR SO PLZ STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!!

I mean, really. It's getting ridiculous. Only one person is doing it deliberately but it really does my box in that it's all everyone's talking about. Every time I see my friend Alastair I get 'haha I'm going to T in the park and you're not!' - what the fuck?! That's so fucking childish! And besides, it's not as if I'm going to be sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. I'll be in Italy with my dad and my Irish cousin and my stepmum and her parents and the Irish cousin's parents and the Irish cousin's aunt and uncle from the other side of the family and possibly at some point my stepmum's brother and/or sister and maybe my wee cousin Vivi. So fun times all round. And yet it seems quality time with brilliant people, good food and no drinking age can't quite measure up to sleeping in a field and getting progressively smellier while you stand miles away from a wee stage struggling to hear Keane playing one of their moany cheese-face songs. However, these basic truths seem to have passed by the large crew of people in my year who decided to go and do just that.

Even if I wasn't having a better time in a gorgeous rural Italian village that noone's ever heard of, I can't afford it because I'm saving up all my money to go to Rome with friends from a different school as well. That's right, Rome. Mucky Scottish field or Trevi fountain? I know which one I'd choose.

So basically, I'd like people to stfu about festivals and talk about something that involves me, like, I dunno, the dance competition coming up? Although that can get boring too. But still, it's like, 4 weeks away, and kind of a big deal. Pretty much because our school always opens a can of woop ass on the other schools, then we win and get a nice shiny glass trophy. Except this year instead of putting the songs in the programme, they decided to make us all choose a team name.

And guess what my team chose?

Kids.

Want to know what we're dancing to?

'Kids' by MGMT.

Isn't that shit? I wanted to call us Edge, which someone else came up with but I thought it was quite good, but then the moany ones in the group got their way and now we're stuck with Kids. They thought Edge sounded 'gay'. They also thought that Let Go by Frou Frou was 'gay' when everyone else wanted to dance to it, so now we have about 40 seconds of it stuck on at the start. And when someone comes up with a brilliant costume idea, they'll probably go 'No, that's gay!'

You can tell how much I love some of the people on the team, right?

In other news, this is lovely. Go check it out.

xx

school

I'm now back to school after having 3 weeks off (ok I had exams for 2 of those weeks but still) and its a bit rubbish. Everything is the same, but different, if that makes sense. Like, he is no longer attractive, but someone else is. And I'm back to that old mutual dislike with certain teachers who shall remain nameless (I'm trying to be nice these days).

But things are good too. I seem to get on with people better these days, as long as they aren't trying to make me learn things, and my social life is improving now that I don't need to spend as much time cramming before exams. :)

My room is completely made over, and it's basically empty. This is a new experience for me because I'm used to a room full of mess and colour and things, only now it's all white and minimal. It's lovely, but it's taking some getting used to, which my mum doesn't seem to realise because she keeps thinking I'm just a tad ungrateful, which is so not true. But oh well, she'll understand one day...

I've been so freaking tired all week. It's ridiculous. I think it has something to do with the fact that I have to get up ridiculously early to get to school on time, which is not always a possibilty for me. Hence I am often the last person into tutor group, so much so the teacher doesn't bother telling me off :P. That's only 3 times a week anyway, because I do this thing called paired reading where basically I sit for 15 minutes and listen to a first year read. Only, I'm pretty sure my first year hates me, which can be quite entertaining. An example of a conversation between us goes like this:

me (at 10 past 9 with 5 minutes to go): So do you want to start reading then?
her (without eye contact): no.
me: are you ok?
her: yes.
me: do you not like this book?
her (still no eye contact): no.
me: do you want to change it?
her: yes.
me: do you want me to help you choose? (since I have to listen to you mumble through it, it might as well be something I'll enjoy being mumbled)
her: no.

I don't actually interrogate her like that all the time, but sometimes it's necessary just to make sure she hasn't gone brain dead like most people in her year. Honestly, some of them are ridiculous. Like today at break, a group of them were sitting where my group of friends usually hang about, because they were on detention for distressing a sheep until it fell in a burn and drowned. No joke. So their silly wee pals were standing about taking the piss, and started pushing each other around, inevitably bumping into me and my friends (sadly, mostly me). So after a lot of this, and us trying several times to install the Fear of the Senior Tie into the idiots, we got the help of a depute head teacher, who actually went to them 'Right, that's enough, you've upset the senior pupils, now get off that bench!' And they actually jumped up and left. It was hilarious.

And now you have seen the random, rambling thread of my thoughts on today, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

I'm back!

Yes, I have returned to Scotland. No, the weekend wasn't long enough. Yes, I want to be back in Ireland. :(

I thought today was going to be a day where I could relax and get used to being home again, maybe chill out in my room or something. But no, no, I can't, because while I was away having fun and realising things my mum decided now is the time to redecorate my room. So instead of lying on my bed daydreaming, I'm helping to build it :

Except the staple gun broke, so I could be spending the night in my brother's room tonight (he doesn't live here so I might just cope).

While I deal with the upsetting state of my life just now, there is one thing which keeps me from having a breakdown. This. It reminds me that some people have it worse than I do. And it's quite funny.

I'm off school for the rest of the week, so I'll probably be laying carpets or whatever instead of mooning over him all day. Distractions are good....I have to go sand a footboard :)

Men are Shit.

Ok, so I got through Single Awareness Day relatively unscathed. Sure, I couldn't walk in a straight line through the streets of Belfast without being mowed down by couples holding hands and gazing bokesomely into each other's eyes, blissfully unaware of the world around them, but right now it's other events that are 'grinding my gears' (I love Ireland). Like, guys who are such fannies they can't even grant you a proper conversation after a lot of anticipation. Or guys who are just so damn attractive that you can't help but want them, even when nobody else shares your sentiments and yet he still doesn't appear to return your feelings.

I'd like to point out that not all of the above applies to me, but really, that is beside the point. From now on he will be known as He and I will be making a concentrated effort not to mention him in every post. Honestly, it's ridiculous. I didn't realise how bad it was until I got here and realised that I wanted to be back in Scotland on the off-chance I might see him.

It sickens me.

Well, I'm heading home tomorrow and quite frankly, I don't want to. And yet, I do. And I know why. Urgh. Someone slap me, please.

single pringle

Ok, so it only just dawned on me today that I'm going to be single for Valentine's Day. Again. Yes, I know, how slow am I? But really, there comes a point where the whole mushy couple thing gets to be too much so you just tune it out (I passed that point about six months ago lol). Actually, come to think of it, I think the last valentine's card I received was about ten years ago, from a boy with a lisp and a tragic bowl cut. So you see my life is just fraught with romance.

So, this year I fully intend to have an ANTI-valentines day with my cousin. There will be no fluffy romantic things allowed within ten feet of us, and only singletons are allowed to join in. Hmm. sounds good.

However, any lovely Irish lads that are interested, my plans can change ;)

francais, pourquoi?

Why, oh why did I take higher French? Oh, that's right, to be a French teacher. Only one problem there - I can't do higher French and I'm too bloody impatient to teach. Ok, so that's two problems, but still.

It's just occoured to me that this blog is becoming really negative :S. Let's think of happy things!!

I'm going to Ireland this weekend to see my cousin, who I haven't seen in proper months so yay! It will be a weekend of proper girlieness and fun - shopping, chick flicks, and so on.

Bloody hell I wish it would snow again. We had good snow last Monday but I couldn't enjoy it because I was in my English exam, then it rained on Monday night and it all went away :( And all this time England have been off school and no buses and that because they have so much snow. Send some of it north plz?? Then maybe I can get out of my French or history exam, which would be good and wonderful and stuff :)

exams

Does anyone else think exams are a load of bollocks? I had my maths prelim today and it was bloody stressful. Life would be so much better if qualifications depended on grades from class tests, but no. The SQA feel the need to give us all five reasons to have a nervous breakdown, all lined up in the space of two weeks, and make them practically impossible to do well in because they're so bloody hard!!!

But hey, at least when I'm finished I've got a week of study leave to do absolutely fuck all in...

:)